Lets Make Indian Community Centers

Why this non-sexy concept can become a unifier we need

Summary

Our community performs strongly at the Individuals and Families level, but the collective bonds are weakening. We need to start investing in organizations and groups that bind us in real life, not just online. This is how we preserve our culture, celebrate our identity and build our power base for collective action.

Why do we need in-person community centers?

• Most communities have anchor pillars that bind them. Be it religion, cookouts, sports leagues within the community, and more. Its consistent meetups space that preserve and strengthen the identity of the community.
• We need these spaces so we can take off the masks we wear constantly, coalesce around our values and our viewpoints and share the modern Indian American experience. This is how we grow as a cultural community, not just as Individuals and Families.
• The modern Indian-American millennial is missing this. Without it we’re a bit adrift at sea. As the family-friend group disintegrates these ties only become weaker.
• More practically, how else are we planning on passing on the culture to our kids? How are we planning on preserving the culture within ourselves? We need to give our kids a peer group they deserve.
• With our maniacal career focus we are losing sight of the “big goal” which is community preservation and advancement.

Why don’t our current structures serve us?

• Religion isn’t a unifier for us the way it is for other cultures. Hinduism isn’t approachable. Since we were kids we didn’t know what most of the prayers meant we just clapped along to what our parents did. It’s not something we have a deep emotional resonance to.
• Online communities don’t count, and by the way there are very few dedicated South Asian ones. In-person “communities” like the dating mehlas also don’t count because they are transactional by nature.
• Bollywood and Cricket don’t bind us; they are past times.

Are parents didn’t need this, why do we?

• Our parents’ strength derived from the sink or swim situation they were in with all of their peers. There was a bonded kinship in that.
• The best example I have is my family friend Rashmi Auntie who went into the phone book when she moved to VA and called the other two families in the phone book with the same last name. They’ve been friends for the 35 years. Her story is not an isolated one.
• That generation created the family-friend group and upheld it for 25 years. Those were the pillars that bound us yet we’re not recreating it.
• We also live in a different society then our parents. Friendship and trust are on the decline, social-media induced loneliness is up. The modern Indian-American millennial sees more competition in their peer group than cooperation.
• Our parents didn’t need structured community, they created it out of thin air trying to preserve what they had in India. We need structure.

Whats one example of this?

• I admire the Jewish community for executing this playbook. There are over 170 Jewish Community Centers in the US and when someone says “we went to camp together” we know what they mean. And frankly I get jealous! I wish there was an Indian Summer Camp I could send my kid.
• It’s established that on the high holidays many Jewish families spend time together, whereas on Diwali it’s still a big “if” for us. There is still strong synagogue culture especially outside of major cities.
• I’m going to make a tie between this strength of community and their collective action. Its not a surprise that the Jewish lobby has succeeded so well in maintaining Israel <> US relations. I’m not being political here I’m admiring the force of the lobby and the community behind it, not commenting on Israel/Palestine. I think their strength of community is one of the pillars powering that collective action.
• They understand that with the pressures of modern life and success, high-performing communities need structure to reach meaningful goals. Otherwise they just become high-performing individuals and families. Splintered micro-communities across the diaspora.

Is there a deeper driver here?

• There’s a Hierarchy of Needs when it comes to communities. Not everyone needs to be fulfilled by the whole heirarchy.
• At the baseline I’m talking about preserving our culture and passing it on. That means tabla and Hindi lessons; I’m talking about cooking classes for adults and a place to celebrate religious holidays together. Fuse religion, arts and culture into one modern experience.
• One level up I’m talking about a space to celebrate our Indian American Identity. That means celebrating our heroes: our entrepreneurs, politicians, artists and scientists. A place for our kids to feel normal with their feet in two worlds. A place for parents to make friends that they also do deals with. The safe place for us to encourage cooperation not competition amongst ourselves.
• At the highest level I’m talking about moving beyond career success to galvanizing community action. As we enter a ~25 year period in which the relationship between the US and India will be a world-defining one, Indian-Americans in the US will play a pivotal role in shaping that. Community centers are a small piece where views and action can coalesce; they are the molten core.

In Closing

• Strength in community is brittle. While we were born into strongly-bonded communities, that doesn’t automatically transfer across generations.
• We cannot mistake Indian American career success for cultural success. The two are vastly differently. In the long run, the latter matters more because preserving culture and identity is what makes us, us. This is especially true now that we are having kids.
• Modern Indian Americans need a place to celebrate our identity and create a power base. The prime of our careers will be in concert with the blossoming of the US-India relationship. The two should not be completely independent of one another.
• As always, I remind you that there is no community in the comments section. True Community is something you can feel and touch. It’s people you can rely on and friendships that are real. Wouldn’t it be great if some of those people were new Indian-American families in your life?